jokeKing logo
avatar HotBenefit85 14 day.ago

I wrote a book on reverse psychology

I don’t think you should buy it

8
0
Recommend Jokes

Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. How do i stay in shape?

Easy. The exterior of my body is solid.

2. I accidentally superglued my thumb and forefinger together last night

Everything will be ok… for a while 👌🏻

3. What do you get when?

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

4. I had to share a room with one of my ex-girlfriends. She insisted on taking the top bunk.

I'm still not over her.

5. My son likes elevators; my daughter likes escalators.

They are raised differently.

6. Scientists tell everyone the Earth is heating up...

It's a global warning.

7. A blind Dinasaur and a Deer with no eyes meet.

A man watchs from afar with his partner. Partner: What are those things and can they see us? Man: No-eye-deer and I-dont-think-it-saurus

8. The same

A grandmother looked after 2000 sheep alone in the village. A journalist came to make a report about it and asked the grandmother: \- "Tell us how you manage to look after 2000 sheep by yourself?" Grandma: \- "Well, I've been doing that all my life, I'm used to it." Journalist: \- "And how much does one sheep weigh?" Grandma: \- "Black or white?" Journalist: \- "Well, let's say white." Grandma: \- "30 kg." Journalist: \- "And black?" Grandma: \- "Well, the same." Journalist: \- "Okay, and how much milk does one sheep give?" Grandma: \- "Black or white?" Journalist: \- "Well, let's say white." \- "so 2 liters." \- "And black?" \- "Well, the same." \- "Okay, and how much wool from one sheep?" \- "Black or white?" \- "Let's say black." \- "3 kg." \- "And white?" \- "Well, the same." The journalist grows mad, realizing the grandma is messing with her. Journalist: \- "Well, what's the difference between black and white then?" Grandma: \- "Well, the white ones are mine." Journalist: \- "And the black ones?" Grandma: \- "Well, the same."

9. Bob and his son, Timmy, are on a fishing trip.

After a few hours of still water, Bob cracks open a beer. Timmy says: "Hey Dad, since Mom's not here, can I have one?" "Can your dick touch your asshole?" Bob retorts. "No," Timmy answers, confused. "Then you can't have one." After a little while, Bob grabs a pack of cigarettes and lights one up. Timmy says: "Dad, I promise Mom will never find out. Can I have one?" Again, Bob retorts "Can your dick touch your asshole?" Frustrated and confused, Timmy says "No." "Then you can't have one." A few more minutes pass, and Bob rips open a bag of chips. Timmy, thinking there's no way his dad would refuse his request for something as harmless as chips, says: "Can I have some chips at least?" To the boy's surprise, Bob again asks: "Can your dick touch your asshole?" Fed up, Timmy proudly proclaims "Yes! Yes it can!" "Then go fuck yourself, these are my chips!"

10. Tom's scrotum

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium. She said, "I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him." (You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.) "Tom was unable to hold me or the children," she went on, "and every move caused him terrible pain." We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom's scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place." (Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirm uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.) "Now," she announced in a quivering voice, "thank the Lord, Tom is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely." (All the men sighed with unified relief.) The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say. A man slowly stood up and walked just as slowly to the podium. He said, "I'm Tom Smith." The entire congregation held its breath. "I just want to tell my wife -- the word is sternum."

more jokes Here waiting for you

best dad jokesjokes for adult
Welcome to Joker King – Your Daily Dose of Happiness!

Here, we’ve gathered the funniest dad jokes, jokes for kids, funny jokes, witty comebacks, and hilarious memes from across the web. Whether you need stress relief, a quick laugh, or the perfect icebreaker for social situations, we’ve got you covered!

Feeling down? Click in—guaranteed smiles! 😆